a breakthrough in drawing the life

 Life drawing has been a struggle since I got here.

From the beginning, I psyched myself out with dusty ideas--visual languages I appreciated but didn't want for myself. I felt pressured to meet or exceed the ideals of other people.

Under pressure, I made a lot of ugly drawings.
The more I tried to delight an audience, the less I succeeded, and the more awful I felt.

But last week I tried something new.

I made marks on paper. I let my brain do what it wanted.
I did not care if it didn't look like the model, or if the proportions were incorrect. These drawings are pure--pure brainwave and color.

I finally feel like I'm doing something honest in that class again.
I mean, these drawings are still far from what I want them to be, but at least I'm moving in better directions.


Tired eyes.

Need more sleep, less internet.




Trying to establish some kind of ~mood~ or something.



Drawing this drawing was like PEW PEW PEW IDEAS IDEAS and I pretty much just ran with every impulse I had. It was the best.

Drawn in Jonny Gomez' life drawing class with a brushpen.
Colored in my living room with photoshop!


bits & pieces

Some things that have been appearing in my sketchbook lately.



So many ideas in my brain! This year is going to be excellent!



And by millennium, I really mean school year.


My redesign of Louise's design of herself (the drawing on the right is hers!).

Working on dramatic poses!! Look at her carry those papers.

Self! Cleaned up & colored (hurriedly) in photoshop.


big hips lady

Potential film character alert!


face first

Here are a bunch of portraits I painted recently with photoshop. They're boring and straight-up representational, but at least I'm learning a little about hue, value & saturation.



Messing around with some brushes Craig gave me/
creating the kinds of color palettes that cause ocular cancer.


red ugly

 Unfortunate feelings.


Sketches 'n' stuff.

Um, so, I've never been good at updating this thing regularly. I'm sorry.
Have some sketches.


Always the same face,

looking at me from the mirror.

I cannot change it.
I shouldn't want to.


Radioactive bones.

Hum hum. Sometimes I get these urges to do digital paintings. The subject is usually naked people.

Pornography used as reference..!


All I draw is smut.

Gosh. I should give up college and spend my life illustrating Fanny Hill, y/n?

And now, a hilarious excerpt of the aforementioned, courtesy of wikipedia:
"...and now, disengag’d from the shirt, I saw, with wonder and surprise, what? not the play-thing of a boy, not the weapon of a man, but a maypole of so enormous a standard, that had proportions been observ’d, it must have belong’d to a young giant. Its prodigious size made me shrink again; yet I could not, without pleasure, behold, and even ventur’d to feel, such a length, such a breadth of animated ivory! perfectly well turn’d and fashion’d, the proud stiffness of which distended its skin, whose smooth polish and velvet softness might vie with that of the most delicate of our sex, and whose exquisite whiteness was not a little set off by a sprout of black curling hair round the root, through the jetty sprigs of which the fair skin shew’d as in a fine evening you may have remark’d the clear light ether through the branchwork of distant trees over-topping the summit of a hill: then the broad and blueish-cast incarnate of the head, and blue serpentines of its veins, altogether compos’d the most striking assemblage of figure and colours in nature. In short, it stood an object of terror and delight."

Doesn't archaic language make you hot?


So much paisley.

In Lisa Keene's visual development class, our job this semester was to reinterpret and design the story of Hansel & Gretel from the ground up. I chose to give it some mystic hippies/'60s-counterculture flavor, with Hansel & Gretel as free-loving flower children and the evil witch as an overbearingly conservative 1950s housewife. These are character design doodles for Hansel & Gretel.

PS. I almost titled this post "Hippie Hansel and Groovy Gretel," but that would be TOO SILLY.


Sweet Savage Love

First year film!
Man, this year went by too fast. We only have a couple more weeks of hanging out here at CalArts, and then it's summer. I am going to be so sad/bored/well-rested for those long three months.



Another cute model,
another good day in life drawing class.

(Of course you cannot see it because of the scanner,
but all of the pink parts are glittery gel pen ink.)


Graphite is GREAT.

Since coming to CalArts, I'm pretty sure my figure drawing skills have actually declined. But today was a decent day and the model was really cool and had a nice butt, so! I was inspired.
Here are some of the things I drew.

five minutes!

ten minutes!

five...? not sure.

one minute gestures.

All Ticonderoga pencil on printer paper! I'm rediscovering a love for classic/cheap art supplies.