Under pressure, I made a lot of ugly drawings.
The more I tried to delight an audience, the less I succeeded, and the more awful I felt.
But last week I tried something new.
I made marks on paper. I let my brain do what it wanted.
I did not care if it didn't look like the model, or if the proportions were incorrect. These drawings are pure--pure brainwave and color.
I finally feel like I'm doing something honest in that class again.
I mean, these drawings are still far from what I want them to be, but at least I'm moving in better directions.